The Lord Is My Shepherd?
If this is your first time reading my blog, I encourage you to go back and read the last ones. It will all make a lot more sense if you know all the back story.
So in September of 2015 I was no longer working at the church that I had moved my newly wed wife across the country, away from all family and friends, to be a Youth Pastor. Now, what do we do? At this point it didn't make sense to move...there was nothing better than what we had to move for. Paige still had a job teaching Preschool at the church (of which she is amazing at and loves to do), and there wasn't a job waiting for me somewhere else...so, we stayed put.
This was a tough time for me...in many ways. I knew in my heart that I would be in full time ministry again at some point, but had no idea when or where or what I would even be doing. So what do I do? Do I wait it out? Do I find a temporary job? Do I find a new full time career type job?
On top of all of this internal processing, I now was attending the church that I had given my life to for over 7 years and felt a bit like a new person...like I didn't know anyone or what was going on. It was just weird. I don't know that anyone could ever really understand it unless they've been-there-done-that. I had been an elder, I knew what was going on in people's lives, I had been in various leadership positions, I was the go to for numerous things...now I didn't HAVE to be in church...I didn't HAVE to care...I didn't HAVE to anything church.
Yet, even in this feeling of not having to go to church, I wanted to move on to another church...another job...another ministry. So I pursued Worship Pastor positions, Technical Director positions, and anything else that would put me in a worship ministry somewhere. Nothing seemed like a great fit, but anything was better than where I was now, serving in a church that I felt I didn't belong in.
What I have failed to mention in all of this, is that our needs were being met. My faith was strong in the sense that I knew God would provide for us as we stick close and trust Him. But it was almost like I took Psalm 23:1 "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." and only believed the last half...I shall not want. I mean seriously...I didn't have a full time job...in fact I barely had a part time job, but we were not in want. We were somehow able to put money away in savings for a couple months and then able to live off of a couple thousand a month! (That's a big deal when you mortgage and utilities takes up 75% of your income and you have two kids!)
Yet in all of this, it was a really hard time of life. I spent multiple early mornings at Woods Coffee just processing, writing, praying...trying to figure out what was next. In these moments away, I would feel peace about where we were at in life, but I would leave there and not know what was going on. I would wonder what God was doing and when He was going to open the next ministry door for me. This went on for nearly 8 months! Did I say yet that God was faithful through all of this?! Did I tell you about Him providing for our every need?! But yet it took nearly 8 months for me to realize there was more to Psalm 23:1 than just, "I shall not want."
We'll get into more of that later...but now, I want to ask you this:
What area of your life are you taking and believing only the second half of this verse? Are you leaving out, "The Lord is my Shepherd" and only trusting "I shall not want"?
Yet, even in this feeling of not having to go to church, I wanted to move on to another church...another job...another ministry. So I pursued Worship Pastor positions, Technical Director positions, and anything else that would put me in a worship ministry somewhere. Nothing seemed like a great fit, but anything was better than where I was now, serving in a church that I felt I didn't belong in.
What I have failed to mention in all of this, is that our needs were being met. My faith was strong in the sense that I knew God would provide for us as we stick close and trust Him. But it was almost like I took Psalm 23:1 "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." and only believed the last half...I shall not want. I mean seriously...I didn't have a full time job...in fact I barely had a part time job, but we were not in want. We were somehow able to put money away in savings for a couple months and then able to live off of a couple thousand a month! (That's a big deal when you mortgage and utilities takes up 75% of your income and you have two kids!)
Yet in all of this, it was a really hard time of life. I spent multiple early mornings at Woods Coffee just processing, writing, praying...trying to figure out what was next. In these moments away, I would feel peace about where we were at in life, but I would leave there and not know what was going on. I would wonder what God was doing and when He was going to open the next ministry door for me. This went on for nearly 8 months! Did I say yet that God was faithful through all of this?! Did I tell you about Him providing for our every need?! But yet it took nearly 8 months for me to realize there was more to Psalm 23:1 than just, "I shall not want."
We'll get into more of that later...but now, I want to ask you this:
What area of your life are you taking and believing only the second half of this verse? Are you leaving out, "The Lord is my Shepherd" and only trusting "I shall not want"?
Comments
Post a Comment